Sunday, September 19, 2010

Talk Like a Pirate Day Poem...

'tis Talk like a Pirate Day but ye should already know
so stow all ye "proper grammar" and let's get on with the show.
avast ye land lubbers and all ye scurvy wenches
it's time for all buccaneers to get off the benches.
so thrown on yer eye patch, hooked hand and peg leg...
grab some bottles of rum and don't forget grog by the keg.
ye dirty, stinky bilge rats and all ye buxom beauties...
come aboard thee jolly roger, and grab some freebooter booties.
now i don't wanna hear tales about ships that sank,
and if ye open yer trap you'll be walking my plank.
hold fast me girlie, smartly... tis the wind o' the monsoon
but all i really wanna do is drop me anchor in yer lagoon.
and lassie, you're beautiful so smile and don't frown.
but come a little closer, i want ye to blow my arse down.
and after ye finish up that tis my yardarm ye can measure,
so pull down yer britches and let me bury me treasure!

---The Dread Pirate VonFuct

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

VonFuct's Pic of the Week

Bike of the Week
Flathead goodness, clean and simple.

Car of the Week
Beautiful car... and that's coming from a Ford man.

Babe of the Week
Um, yeah... nuff said.

Art of the Week
New goodies from David Lozeau... go get 'em!

WTF of the Week
Now that is a BIG fucking dog!

Vintage Goodness of the Week
Ah, the good ol' days!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Flash Friday

Happy Flash Friday,
to all of you, young and old.
Here's to a natural resource,
that's worth it's weight in gold.

No two are the same,
and they come in all shapes and sizes.
Once we get to unwrapping them,
they're like tasty, bouncy prizes.

Small and perky,
or massive and heaving.
They're certainly a part,
of what keeps us from leaving.

So, ladies and girls,
make the world a better place.
Just flash us your titties,
and put a smile on our face.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

VonFuct's Pic of the Week

Bike of the Week

Car of the Week

Babe of the Week

Art of the Week

WTF of the Week

Vintage Goodnees of the Week

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

VonFuct's Pic of the Week

Bike of the Week
now there's something you don't see
every day, a custom BMW R-80

Car of the Week
it's like candy.

Babe of the Week
and oldie but such a goodie.

Art of the Week
gotta love summer time... and David Mann.

WTF of the Week
I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

Vontage Goodness of the Week
Mr. Kenneth Howard hard at work.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

'51 HD Panhead

 lovin' it.

Titty Tuesday

i don't really feel,
like writing a poem today.
i hope that it's alright,
and I hope that it's okay.

but i will bring you boobs,
for it is still Titty Tuesday.
have a peek at this great pair,
now what else is there to say?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Buck Furpies!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Happy Flash Friday

bite on your lip,
let your shirt slip,
give it a tug,
and let's see some nip.

happy friday everyone...
Your hands bound tight,
in the middle of the night.
Squirm and squiggle,
make that ass wiggle.
I like it when you put up a fight.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I got two words for you, "squeezable beef jerky".

Titty Tuesday

Okay, so the World Cup's over,
and like always, I'm a little late.
but who can really fault me,
when Titty Tuesday looks this great?

Please enjoy these boobies,
I do, is that a shocker?
And just so you people know,
I really can't stand soccer.

Love, VonFuct

Monday, July 26, 2010

VonFuct's Pic of the Week

Bike of the Week
cool exhaust, sweet front end, nice lines, high tank, and it's brown.

Car of the Week
Fuck, I'd stab a fucker their face for this rig. I love it!

Babe of the Week
Mmmm... things are lookin' up!

Art of the Week
birthday wishes to the one and only... Eye Bone!

WTF?!? of the Week
"now where did I leave that nut at?"

and an ALL NEW category...

Vintage Goodness of the Week!
Rest In Peace Larry... 'flake and candy coat the afterlife!

Love, VonFuct

Sunday, July 25, 2010

a day in the life of VonFuct 7/25/10

woke up in the morning,
NOT feelin' like P. Diddy.
cut short the dream I was having,
where I was sucking on a titty.

looked at the clock,
fucker read seven thirty.
sonofabitch, I'm waking late,
gotta shower, can't go dirty.

rolled out the house,
headed for the LBC,
cycle swap today,
is where I wanna be.

walked a few laps,
bought shit i don't really need.
a David Mann framed centerfold,
and old leather saddle for my next old steed.

a killer little chrome bezel,
and the new issue of DICE.
some back issues of The Horse,
and a Nazi pin for a sweet low price.

tripped out on this crazy front end,
that looked like a plumber built it.
and wished i coulda bought the creeper,
for five Gs, that bike just killed it.

then headed back down south,
for breakfast at the little knight.
now with food in my belly,
just need some sleep and i'll be a'ight.

head home to take a power nap,
since i was going on three hours sleep.
i was out once my head hit the pillow,
no need to be counting sheep.

now i'm back among the living,
after forty minutes of napping.
do a little leather work,
a little tap-tap-tap-tap-tapping.

oh joy, i still have time,
to go to the gym and run.
even though right now,
that doesn't sound all that fun.

but i go in anyway,
and only run six miles in an hour.
then back to the house again,
to take a much needed second shower.

and i still have to work tonight,
so back I go soon to the LK.
come on in if you feel like a drink,
and if you don't, you're gay.

and now here you find me,
in my boxers, smoking weed,
writing stupid, fucking poems
that nobody will even read.


Saturday, July 24, 2010

hit the gas

my memories are fading,
and so are my tattoos.
could it be I'm getting older,
or is it just from all the booze?

the lights no longer twinkle,
just as bright as I recall.
the road just continues on,
through this overly long haul.

life takes me off the track,
twists the things i thought i knew.
going down a new road now,
with a view that's all askew.

don't know what's around the bend,
what the next corner holds for me.
all i can do is hit the gas,
and i guess... just wait and see.

- VonFuct

Friday, July 23, 2010

Flash Friday July 23, 2010

So, I've had a few requests,
for a return of the posts baring breasts.
Am who am I to disappoint,
I ask as I light up this here joint?
Say welcome back to an old friend,
one focused on the top and not the rear end.
So Happy Flash Friday to all you naughties,
I hope you enjoy these here nekkid bodies!