'tis Talk like a Pirate Day but ye should already know
so stow all ye "proper grammar" and let's get on with the show.
avast ye land lubbers and all ye scurvy wenches
it's time for all buccaneers to get off the benches.
so thrown on yer eye patch, hooked hand and peg leg...
grab some bottles of rum and don't forget grog by the keg.
ye dirty, stinky bilge rats and all ye buxom beauties...
come aboard thee jolly roger, and grab some freebooter booties.
now i don't wanna hear tales about ships that sank,
and if ye open yer trap you'll be walking my plank.
hold fast me girlie, smartly... tis the wind o' the monsoon
but all i really wanna do is drop me anchor in yer lagoon.
and lassie, you're beautiful so smile and don't frown.
but come a little closer, i want ye to blow my arse down.
and after ye finish up that tis my yardarm ye can measure,
so pull down yer britches and let me bury me treasure!
---The Dread Pirate VonFuct